When I give you the word, together we will cross the Line of Departure, Moi's property line, close with those doggerel forces that choose to fight, and destroy them. Our fight is not with the squirrel loving people, nor is it with members of the various other animals who choose to surrender. While we will move swiftly and aggressively against those who resist, we will treat all others with decency, demonstrating chivalry and soldierly compassion for the creatures who have endured a lifetime under Ivan's oppression.
Chemical attack, treachery, and use of the innocent as human shields can be expected, as can other unethical tactics. Take it all in stride. Be the hunter, not the hunted: Never allow your unit to be caught with its guard down. Use good judgment and act in the best interests of our nation.
You are part of the world's most feared and trusted force. Engage your brain before you engage your weapon. Share your courage with each other as we enter the uncertain terrain north of Ivan's area. Keep faith in your comrades on your left and right and Squirrel Force overhead. Fight with a happy heart and strong spirit.
"For the mission's sake, our country's sake, and the sake of the squirrels who carried the Division's colors in past battles--who fought for life and never lost their nerve--carry out your mission and keep your honor clean. Demonstrate to the world there is "No Better Friend, No Worse Enemy" than a fighting member of the USSF.
hoo -rah!
20 comments:
All right you lil' fuckers. I'm up. I've had two cups of coffee. I have Smith in the one hand, Wesson in the other. Pirate's got her sword. Shamu is similarly locked and loaded. If Wow That Was Awkward would only get out of the bathroom, that would make four of us.
I also have new evidence of your offensive terrorist activities posted on my blob and once my 6.5 readers revel in this proof of your kind's nefarious deeds they will join us in our righteous cause. Prepare to die.
i see you had a change of heart on your blob. shall i disreagard this offensive statement then? tee hee
ajord oui! today i am giving you dear squirrels the most fabulous and functional little red bottomed army boots. storm the mois blog! just like the bastille!!!!
Maximum - can we trust this one who calls herself ME? Our radios are out, I cannot get in touch with the Brigade. If we are calling off the attack... it may be too late.
dont call it off! youve got some bad ass back up!!
raawwwwwwroar!!!!
Reporting to duty - Once the sun is up and I'm not a moving target I'm in. I brought more with me and I think a lemur joined in Texas. He has "issues", but he's in.
FREEDOM! FREEDOM!
Godzilla! You're late. I sent you a text on Friday.
Doesn't matter. The one we call "MOI" will be shaking her in designer shoes. Becareful - she smells good, but don't let that get in the way. KILL! KILL!
Mr. Squirrel,
that is a negative. full speed ahead!! now that the albinos are checking in, i feel quite confident we will prevail.
the "other moi" is a part of our propaganda campaign.
weve got many many compadres in this war. keep the faith, mister, keep the faith.
plus! stone d'angles checked in! hooo-rah!!
Hoor-rah! Thanks for the update. Full steam ahead. Watch out for the pool.
cant we all just get along? im not supporting Mois campaign anymore. im more animal than people. know what i am saying?
i pledge myself to the squirrels
Disregard the rantings of that last imposter.
You're all invited to my place to be...er...for dinner.
i french kiss squirrels every chance i get. and chauffeur them about in my vintage convertable mercedes.
My correspondents are embedded with the squirrel forces but are instructed to remain rigidly neutral. Just like the NBC,ABC,CBS anchors who are on bootlicking assignment on Obama's tour of Eurabia.
read last five posts...obviously must start from the beginning....can't breathe...tried to find respite in the comments...snorting, laughing all manner of tears streaming down my face...
i swear to god I think the damn squirrel who hangs out just outside my window heard it all and gave me a knowing look and a big HOOah!!
carry on.....
nuts AND berries?!?!...good GOD man!!in that case *snapping salute(well executed since I have a thumb)
FNG reporting for duty. SIR!
Maximum Damage! We have a new recruit! Minute by minute we grow stronger.
You boys are heroes!
By all means, everyone join in.
Newest Chain Restaurant in my area, Kentucky Fried Squirrel! Yummy. Y'all more than welcome at the grand opening, just rsvp me. Lots of peanut butter dippin...uh, peanut butter treats for the youngun's.
Right then, birdbaits - I don't see much in the way of twigs and berries, but I do see a lot of fur flying. No more camouflage for you - I'm on to you and your snakey ways
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